No wonder they’re pushing for us to eat bugs, given this story. Due to Mar-a-lago this little gem likely went unnoticed, the Daily Mail UK ran a story earlier in the month headlined, “Fake meat fail? Beyond Meat reels as sales slow and stock plummets, with an analyst saying it’s ‘burning through cash’ and may go bankrupt as partnerships with McDonald’s and Taco Bell don’t pan out.”

Looking like fake news isn’t the only thing folks are rejecting, fake meat’s getting slaughtered too!

Wall Street darling and ESG poster child, Beyond Meat’s stock prices peaked in July of 2019 at over $234 per share. But then last year the price began slip, slip, slipping away, and has now been ground down to around $32 a share. The stock disappointed investors by falling 74% in the last twelve months. Worse yet, Market Watch recently cited an independent analysis listing Beyond Meat as a ‘zombie stock’ that could soon hit $0 a share.

Well on the upside think about all the plants that will now be able to live!

So odd! But what gives? I know right, for some unbeknownst reason, the ESG friendly meat-alternative’s test locations just aren’t performing all that well. So much so that, many of Beyond Meat’s fast-food partners are either not expanding their plant-based options to any more restaurants or are deleting the veggie-based items off the menu entirely. For instance, McDonald’s isn’t “Mc Happy” with their “McPlant” products and is said to be seeing disappointing sales, so much so that some locations have stopped serving the faux-meat burgers altogether. Does McDonalds customers hate Gaia that much, after all don’t, they know the world is like ending in 24 months or something and it’s “cow flatulence” that’s stinking up our future!

I’ve got an idea, what if we were to do for Beyond Burgers what we did for the pharmaceutical industry, you know, mandate Beyond Burgers! Don’t laugh, don’t you know we’re facing a climate emergency, and this may be the only way to save the planet or at least get the stock price up!