All right before you start throwing your stale chips and flat beer at me, let me unpack what I mean by this. Let’s start first by defining what a “safe space” is, I’m sure most of you have heard this term before but it’s simply a physical space that is set up so the more sensitive among us, you know the folks who can’t take any form of criticism.

These types of spaces have been set up in both private and public institutions, especially prevalent in universities and colleges. What can one do in these safe spaces beside escape the cruel world around them, why they can colour and play with stuffed animals in order to take out their pent-up angst. Back before the western world went insane, you know like a couple of years ago, these spaces were typically occupied by pre-schoolers and kindergartners, but it seems that youngsters of all ages, you know those that are 20, 30, 50 plus are calling them home. When the realities of life simply get too hard due to someone posting something online, they disagree or calls them by the wrong pronoun, they can escape to these safe space wombs.

So, I’m sure most of you are tracking with me so far, but what in heavens’ name do these safe spaces share in common with “man caves?” First off what’s the purpose of a “man cave”, anyone, yeah that’s right it’s where men can go to in order to escape family life. Now these may be men that may or may not be married and they may or may not have children, but one thing they all share in common is that they need a “sanctuary” to escape to, it’s their day spa! Now why do they need this escape, simple, the pressures of life are simply too much, you know from demanding girlfriends and wives to needy children, these poor souls are simply worn out. In the cave they step back to a simpler time, a time when they had no responsibility, they can watch sports for hours, reliving their glory days. They can get lost in video games, ones in which they’re the hero, save the world and get the girl, every young man’s fantasy! Of course, in the cave, they’re free to indulge in all things their girlfriends or wives criticize and despise, there are no chores to be done and no responsibilities to be dealt with. It’s like it was before girlfriends, wives, and kids.

The irony of course is that most of the men that have these caves, only do so with the blessing of their girlfriends or wives. What you’ll notice is that these caves are typically relegated to the dungeon, you know the basement of the home. Most of them have the “woman’s touch”, wives and girlfriends have played a part in decorating and setting them up thereby effectively neutering their man. In homes where they cannot be hidden out of view, a small room in the house is cordoned off for the cave, they’re never front and center or the focal point. Basically the “man cave” for many men is where they escape to, trading disconnection from their family with connection to a bygone era, one where their lives were carefree and so full of promise. In the cave they’re respected and revered while playing call of duty! There’s no judgement or criticism in the “man cave” in fact it’s a men’s self-congratulatory club, no reality allowed!

Too harsh, all right let me contrast that with what a “man cave” used to be. See back in the day the “man cave” was the study, library, or den in a home. In the cave you found books and thinking games like chess, it’s where men went to not to escape and dumb themselves down but sharpen their minds. It’s where fathers had important life conversations with sons and daughters, and sons and daughters got to see firsthand their father’s commitment to bettering themselves. Most importantly it wasn’t tucked away out of sight, but in plain sight and part of everyday life. In other words, men were front and center and part of everyday life, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Now I’m not saying that men don’t need a mental break from time to time and hang out with buddies, I would be the first one to admit we do.

However, your mental break and hang out time, shouldn’t drag on for hours and days at a time, only surfacing for beer, snacks and clean underwear. My work involves talking to people all day and when I get home the first thing, I want to do sometimes is have time to myself and the last thing I want to do is talk to my wife and kids, but it’s not about what I want it’s about what they need and me hiding out in the cave isn’t it. This is especially true for those of you who have kids, when they’re young they idolize dads, they didn’t choose to be born but now that they’re here it up to you to show them what “fatherhood” looks like, a full-time commitment. There’s no putting them back in the womb, I’m afraid! I’ve always been a believer that when it comes to kids, you either invest into them, your time, talent, and money till they’re fully grown, or you’ll be paying for and supporting them till the day you die.

Don’t agree, no problem feel free to let me know, not sure when I’ll be back to you though as I might be busy saving the world from the zombie apocalypse!